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IC INBOX - kaisou
I'm busy. Make it quick.
(or just don't leave a message at all.)
(or just don't leave a message at all.)
username: dark slayer | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
username: dark slayer | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
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Better informed NOW before you go shopping and just see it. All there. Shirtless.
IDK why, I can GUESS why, but how it just got here who the heck knows. Kaisou stuff?
And yup, THE MALL. For extra irony.
:) :) :) You wanna help me put nipple tassels on it? :) :) :)
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Kaisou stuff. Of course. That would always explain it.
[ he's a god, right. maybe the stars aligned and just... decided he needed a statue. to worship. god. zhongli must hate this. ]
Given how terrible Zhongli is with money, I cannot imagine why it is THERE of all--
...Absolutely not. If he finds out you have done such a thing--
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Honestly, I've got way less stressed about stuff going on when I accept this place is just Like That.
[Zhongli must hate this SO much.]
Maybe it's there like, IRONICALLY?
Awwwww c'moooooon. He doesn't have to KNOW you did it. We can be stealthy. Like ninjas. Live a little, Verg! Do some mischief with me!
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If a statue of myself appeared somewhere, I would likely go and tear it down myself.
[ perish the thought.
but now he has to stop, because one, zulius asking him to 'do some mischief' with him hits his brain as 'this is probably something you shouldn't turn down,' as he's trying to train his brain to recognise things that 'friends' do, but...
....but... ]
You know those statues that were popularized in Rome. The --busts, and sometimes fullbody statues that were made of beautiful pearl-white marble?
Did you know that it has more recently come to light that it is likely that those statues were not meant to be seen in white, but, were in fact, painted bright and vibrant colors.
[ this sounds like a tangent, but... he attaches a picture. ]
....Just an idea.
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[Vergil statues must remain for all time, so sayeth Zulius!
...And holy shit. He expected this to go with him continuing to badger Vergil about doing some shenanigans while Vergil kept saying no until he stopped responding altogether. This is a delightful new twist and Zulius is ecstatic. ]
YES?!! Yes, we can absolutely do that!! Verg, that's so cool! Let's make his statue fancy as HELL. Let's DO it.
You dark horse, I didn't know you had this sort of roguery in you. I'm genuinely super impressed.
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[ why the hell would someone make a giant statue of--nevermind. whatever. it's dumb. sparda was dumb.
and look. zulius' reaction is making him feel ALL SORTS of flustered, was it--was it that big of a deal!? he thought the other would be annoyed or exasperated that he didnt want to do the nipple tassel thing, but now he's reacting like
like this
there's such a HUGE pause before he texts back. Like. at least an hour. ]
I did once tell you I knew how to have fun.
...
I am just good at painting objects. I restore some things on display in my shop.
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[The Sparda twins do seem to reek of 'probably were tangentially connected to some weird demony cult thing' vibes.
He remains blissfully unaware that he's flustered Vergil so much. If he was, he would have milked it for all it was worth. But no, here he is genuinely happy that Vergil is actually willing to take a trip into this madness with him at all. And that he can get the poor guy out of the house after everything. That too.
When Vergil goes radio silent for a fucking hour, he assumes the man thought better of it and went back to his hermiting. He chalked it up to a failed attempt and made a mental note to try again later in the week. But no, here Vergil is, back again. ]
You did, but I never thought I'd see active proof of it.
Oh, I bet you are. I've seen some of the stuff in your shop. It's real nice.
...
Does that mean you're still on for some mischief? You were gone a WHILE.
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[ demons hated the man and humans either feared or worshipped him, so... it seemed complicated. he didn't have the whole story yet. he rolls the words around in his head a bit as he answers the bit about sparda before the bit about the 'mischief', trying to figure out how to say it without coming across the wrong way. ]
I am not rescinding my suggestion, nor my participation.
...
I was merely flustered. And did not know how to respond.
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[I was merely flustered. I was merely flustered. He's squinting at this, then goes back to read what he'd sent.
S Q U I N T]
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Holy cow, if I knew that's what did it for you, I would've just taken you to Hobby Lobby. Lesson learned!!
Anyway, fab! GREAT to hear. Glad you're coming out of the house for some mischief. Meet me at the statue?
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He'd worked hard for an HOUR to come up with a response that was honest, but not TOO honest as to embarrass himself, and clearly he'd messed up. He's getting yelled at, aaaugh. Social interaction was-- ]
I have no idea what you are talking about. What does what for me.
Do not answer that. It is not important now. I do not know what a 'Hobby Lobby' is.
I will collect my kit and ... see you soon, I suppose.
[ there's no way he can admit it was more the inundation of compliments and how ... happy zulius seemed that had flustered him. it's too late now. ]
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Fine, keep your secrets. Anyway Hobby Lobby is a place where you can buy hobby stuff. They're actually pretty shitty. We probs don't wanna go there.
Great! See you soon!!!
[It's far too late and Dante is gonna ruin it for him. Tragic. Regardless, Zulius is gonna, just play around on his phone while he waits for Vergil to show up. Still just. Sitting in statue!Zhongli's lap. It's fine, Venti gave him permission. ]
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Vergil will collect up a number of things. He won't bother replying to the text, he has a dozen things to bring along--fortunately, he'd gotten a curious item a while back--an odd backpack he'd gotten from a strange egg. This world was weird.
Anyway, the thing about it was... it was like a damn mary poppins bag. He's going to fit just about a dozen different 500mL containers of oil paint of several colours in there--mostly black, brown, gold, orange and yellows--as well as an entire array of brushes and some containers for water.
The same kit he uses to restore old items that had tarnished or he bought cheaply, while they needed a bit of a paint job.
He won't dare wear it, opting to carrying it, attached to his belt, hidden under the long coat he wears.
Does he need to bring his katana? No. Does he? Yes.
Vergil shows up in his usual long blue coat and vest--looking nothing like someone set to vandalize--or decorate--a statue in the mall square.
He's gonna stare up at the thing--good lord, it really just IS out here in the middle of a commerce area, for everyone to see.
....And there's zulius, just lounging on him.
He drags a hand over his face. ]
Should I even ask how you managed to get up there.
Or did you quite seriously teleport five feet up.
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Zulius turns when he sees Vergil arrive- dressed as fancy as always and absolutely not dressed as someone who's about to commit vandalism against their god-friend's fancy new statue. Zulius himself is clearly full of mischief still, his tail flicking as he peers over Statue!Zhongli's knee like a cat about to pounce on a crinkle ball. ]
Ha ha! No! I used my magic flying parasol to get up here.
[Sure. You know. His magic flying parasol. Obviously. He can't see the backpack yet, hidden as it is with the coat, but oh boy will he have some comments on it when he does.]
You need help getting up here Handsome?
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[ ...speaking of his own mary poppins-style item, it's almost funny to hear zulius has an item that could be considered from the self-same children's story. He almost wants to laugh, but instead, he gestures, a bit. Looking out at the somewhat busy commerce area--and how Surprisingly Few people are actually paying attention to the Zebrataur and the Statue. ]
Normally, I would simply fly up there myself, but turning into a devil in the middle of the afternoon does not seem like a sound idea.
[ in short, yes. what is your plan for helping him up there, though. ]
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[Yup, he's just gonna come right out and say it! Zulius does peer around them. People tend to give him odd looks sometimes, but most of them rush on by in the same way most people do if they think someone has escaped from some sort of institute. He doesn't know what they see when they look at him, but it's not what he is, but they don't bother him with it, either, so he'll take it. ]
Yeeeaaaaaah, no. They'd probs super notice that. Hang on, I'll get you up in no time.
[And before he can say "Zulius, Zulius, let down your hair", the zebrataur whips his head, his mane elongating to make a little, black and white stripey rope which he dangles over the edge. He knows exactly what he's doing. The shit-eating grin he's got going on is proof of that.]
Ta-daaaaaa!
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He puts a hand on his hip, raises his head to the sky as if to ask for mercy--then swings it down with such a put-upon sigh.
And then he's going to tie his sword to his hip and climb the fucking hair rope.
Once he's up. He's going to give him a one-handed gesture, like. Are you serious. ]
You could have at least made it a ladder instead of making me do a Rapunzel reenactment on broad daylight.
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His shit-eating grin never goes anywhere. Not for a second. He just mirrors that one-handed gesture. Yes?]
I could have. But then I would have missed out on watching you climb a rope with your gorgeous biceps and I'm not about denying myself a visual treat when I deserve one.
[He has done nothing to deserve that.]
So! Do you have the paints? You ready for some mischief?
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But now he's going to push his long coat to the side, and into Zhongli's statued lap goes... that terrible turtle-shell backpack. ]
I can see the look on your face, and before you say it, it is an item that has an unfortunate look about it, but is so entirely useful I have to overlook it.
'Mary Poppins' is an apt word to use here, as well.
[ and he's gonna pull
so many little cans of paint out of it.
far more than should fit in the little backpack. And washcloths. And jars of water. and paintbrushes. and-- ]
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[Zulius is Zulius and there's no changing him. Vergil gets it right on the money as Zulius lets out a soft, amused snort at the backpack. He can't help himself: ]
Cowabunga, Dude. Don't know what you're talking about. You'd be the envy of fourth graders everywhere.
[He watches as Vergil keeps pulling more and more supplies out, his eyebrows raising.]
...Wow, you weren't kidding. How much can you get into that thing?
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[ somehow he expected the mario joke--you know, italian and all, but Zulius went an even wilder direction.
He hefts a can of dark brown paint, deciding to start with that. time to colour zhongli's hair. smaller details before the larger ones. ]
I have not tested the... limits of it, fearful that I may break it.
but let us just say this thing made moving my shop intensely simple.
It carried at least half of the smaller items I had in stock that could fit inside the opening.
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[He didn't take the low-hanging Italian fruit.]
Man, I bet it saved a TON on U-Hauls. And it looks like it was probs safer than carting stuff in boxes anyway? Like, less chance of them breaking.
[He picks about the tins of paint, a slow smile crossing his face as he realises he can up the mischief a little here. Well, for himself, and that's the best kind. Speaking of Italian fruit...]
So, what do you think about some oro for the cube? Make it real fancy.
[He grins around the paint can, drumming his fingers on it and waiting to see if Vergil notices the Italian he casually slid in there. ]
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[ yes, that's the only reason.
He's going to get comfortable, leaning against the top part of the statue as he starts to work, quick motions with his paintbrush to fill in what little flecks of hair that dip down under the hood the shadowed figure wears. He'll colour the inside of the hood a dark colour as well, before he's turning his head to nod at Zulius. ]
Not that money is an issue, but half the reason moving to America in the first place was a pain was because I could barely trust companies to handle my items with proper damn care.
I far prefer handling my own things.
[ another flick and press of his brush, and then a pause.
...Yes, he absolutely caught that slip of Italian, an eyebrow quirking at the other. A little smirk follows, as if to wordlessly praise the other. ]
That is quite the idea.
Gold paint may be one idea, but as you say... 'making it fancy...'
...Perhaps we should decorate it with actual gold flake. That way it will never tarnish.
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You're so good to me, Handsome. I really appreciate it.
[He's certainly going to take some time to watch Vergil work. He's not really had the chance to see the other man getting his whole restoration on. It's delightful to watch, really. Seeing the little lines of concentration on his face and the careful but deft movements of his hands. Zulius quietly logs them all in the back of his mind. He knows he really shouldn't be indulging like this. It's a dangerous game he's playing with himself and he really should know better. He knows how this ends and he doesn't want to put himself through it again.
But he does it anyway. At Vergil's comment about handling his own things, he lets out a filthy chuckle, waggling his eyebrows. ]
Oh, I bet you do.
[That smirk is delightful, he will take the wordless praise, please and thank you! He's been working hard on Duolingo even if he's 90% certain that freaky green owl is gonna show up in his bedroom one night and murder him for skipping a lesson. ]
Oooooh! [He claps his hands together.] LOVE that idea. We've gotta make sure it stands the test of time, after all. It's probs gonna be around as long as he will be and that's probably forever.
[He's gonna grab that and head over to the stupid cube. He has to rear up and rest his forehooves on statue!Zhongli's arm to get up there, but get there he does! He's not got the same delicate touch as Vergil has in painting, but he's not that bad. He's had to spend more than one desperate night before a production painting background sets, after all. ]
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