kowase | IC INBOX

[So, talking with Dante and letting him know about this has left Nox with both a grateful and also conflicted feeling. Not because of how things ended, but because of how Nox just spit out something that was supposed to be between him and Vergil.

Aaaah hell, he feels bad about it and he knows how they all are and their luck, so. Better to let his father know of the fuckup now then to let him find out later down the road.]

hey
got a minute?

[ he's currently on the second floor of his apartment, going through some items that he'd brought over from italy but hadn't yet repaired to put on display.

When his phone buzzes, he considers ignoring it--an old habit from years ago--but that habit's become harder to stick to since he'd come to Kaisou.
He spends five more minutes fiddling with a hinge on an old grandfather clock before sighing, and looking at the text.

and he almost feels guilty about ignoring it. Almost. ]

I can spare you half a dozen.
Is aught amiss? Does it require I get my coat.

[Honestly Nox is usually patient when people take their time, but this? He feels a nervousness that settles in him the longer he waits, dreading what may come because of this. What if his father basically drops out of this because of what he said, what if they don't ever talk again after this, what if-

And then Vergil responds, and Nox almost backs out of the entire conversation. But he knows better.]

nah dont need to go anywhere
im just gonna apologize first off
was telling dante about how you know im your kid now and i fucked up
told him how hes an anchor for you
so
yeah
wanted to let you know i screwed up
didnt say shit all else but yeah

[How the fuck does he do this, Nero was horrible at this sort of thing and with so many what ifs, Nox isn't sure what to say either.]

[ running away from talking is like a proud(?) sparda family tradition at this point, but. with the bonus stat of being half sparda and half who they are from this world, talking comes a little easier. running away actually comes with guilt.

but reading this text definitely has Vergil sitting down with a small amount of frustration. It's probably ridiculous of him to be frustrated about it, but... ]

I do remember telling you that in confidence. I was in an... overly emotional state and would normally not speak so openly.
Especially when it is something I feel may be dangled over my head. I dislike showing weakness. [ he's definitely vexed, but. being mad about this doesn't feel right. ugh. ]

...I am surprised you did come and openly admit to having done it, however.
An apology from you is... not something I expected.

[Running away means you'll still remember what happened later, not be able to bury it like they may have before. Watch it explode in their faces at the worst time.]

yeah and usually im p fucking tight-lipped
dont usually do that sort of thing even if i think itd be better if i did
i work with parents and kids alike
youd be surprised how many times i keep my mouth shut
so i know it might be rough to trust me with that rn but
its the truth here

[Nox actually breathes in relief at reading the last part. His father is absolutely allowed to be upset, but the fact that there's no massive accusations or explosions is a good sign.]

yeah
i know
surprised myself a little
but it didnt feel right to just
idk
shove it under the rug and not let you know?
that was a fucking important moment for me
if i didnt say anything id be insulting us both

Working with children is difficult.
It is a profession I quit because I myself could not hold back the stark truth when it came to certain things.
...
Can I ask why you felt the need to tell him.
I am... not angry with you. Vexed and annoyed, and wish you had not.

[ but he feels he needs this part said--something he can't bring himself to say aloud. ]

I appreciate your honesty.
Therefore, I will say that I do accept your apology.
...

Thank you, Nero.

wait
you taught?
huh
somehow that really does suit you i think
tho tbh i really CANT blame you for quitting
i get the helicopter parents
the elitist parents
the super duper ready-to-throw-down Karens who will go off at a moments notice bc their kid got bruised doing something in pe
so yeah i completely get the whole "cant hold back against the stupid" thing

and youve got every right to feel that
i mean you trusted me with it and i blew it
if you didnt care id be concerned

[This part, though. Nox has to think about the "why" in terms of saying it to Dante.]

ig...
well hes your brother
first and foremost
and i mean
lets just say ive taken the time to really know people
memories and all
ig i felt he needed to hear it?
doesnt mean its RIGHT that i told him
but thats why

[Nox knows Dante's life. How hard it was. How depressed and devastated and barely a shell of a person his uncle became when Vergil showed up again. And... and maybe it's a feeling he has as Nero, but Nox knows that sometimes, two specific idiot twins don't know how to talk to each other. So someone has to start the conversation for them.

But uh. Oh. The acceptance of his apology is actually... nice? Look at that healthy communication.]

uh
yeah uh
youre welcome actually
thanks for accepting it
i know some of my friends and others wouldnt be like
so willing to talk to me after id admit something like that

I did. For about a year.
I went to school to become a teacher, in fact. But once I realised how much ...having to deal with the general public, as well as trying to herd ... cats that it was, I decided the profession was not for me, and instead switched careers to something that suited me better.

I did not hate teaching itself.
I just hated having to deal with the exact thing you are talking about.
As well as students themselves, who needed to be chased into their education, as if it was not a goal to finish their basic education, at the very minimum.

[ vergil is a socially awkward man, chasing people and giving them advice or motivation was not his strong suit. he was one of those mean teachers, sorry, nero. ]

...I do not have all my memories back.
I am at a severe disadvantage when it comes to the... dynamic of our relationship.
Giving him that information ... I feel puts me at a bit more of a disadvantage. I do not want to appear weak in front of him. I am not sure why, but the very idea of it makes me ill.

[ at this current point in the timeline, with few powers and no demon--he doesn't understand why he can't look weak in front of the man. he just knows, instinctually, he cannot. ]

...We are 'family', are we not.
Even if it is by way of our past lives, it is ...undeniable that you are my son.
Therefore, cutting you off for making a mistake would not reflect very well on me.

If I am to make a mistake in my treatment of you as your father.
I'd like it to be an actual mistake.
And not something I can logically be aware that 'this does not need to be blown out of proportion'.

herd cats seems about right tbh
the mentality is basically insane
but if youre dedicated to the kids you have
you learn to get used to it honestly

so you chose to be a collector?
that tracks

[That next part, though. Nox has to stop himself several times as he types, erases, retypes, erases again.]

yeah i get it
ill remember that for the future

[What he doesn't say- or rather, what he had said before and then repeatedly erased- is how he doesn't imagine Dante to view his brother like that. That admitting that sort of need for him wouldn't have his uncle lord anything over him at all. Just act more as a foundation then anything else.

Nox doesn't, though. Can't bring himself to say it when he's already annoyed one family member for saying something he shouldn't have.]

definitely
ill keep that in mind for me too
not that ill try to make mistakes but
yeah
you know
that shit happens
glad we can understand each other p easy

Unfortunately, I am not insane. Therefore, I did not get used to it.

And yes, and no. I am a collector by hobby. I have always had an interest in old weapons.
I got good at understanding how to appraise old things, being able to tell what era they are from, and if they were authentic or not.
Within a half dozen years I solidified myself as a reliable source of authentication, and most of the money I make is actually from middle-manning transactions.

Finding items people are looking for, going through the trouble of haggling or getting them off auction, and charging a finder's fee when the transaction is over with.
It has become quite lucrative, and it is something I can still do despite moving an entire continent away.

[ ...but that's neither here nor there. He's just doing that thing he always does, speaking too much on one topic while trying not to think on another. He doesn't want to be angry, even if he can feel it swirling like a poison down in his gut. ]

Do not get it twisted.
If I am to continue being honest with you, I will have to admit to you that I am not good at interacting with others. The only reason I am remaining calm about this, as it stands, is because of my previous conversation about... familial relationships with a friend of mine.

I am certain I will still make mistakes, just as you may.

It is just a matter of remembering that no mistake cannot be fixed. ...One might hope.

[ he doesn't have all of his memories, he has no idea what darknesses are lurking there that have teeth, that nero and dante know are there, and are terrified will rear their heads one day . ]

hey wow
i resemble that remark?

oh huh
tbh thats p fucking neat?
like
i cant appraise or judge anything worth shit
but i honestly think that knowing so much about those sorts of things is really helpful and also p handy
especially like if youre trying to figure out shit?
and stuff is broken???
yeah man that has to be helpful

[Were you expecting a compliment? SURPRISE.]

right ok
honestly i think like
ok this is gonna sound weird but
i think the longer you kinda hang with us
and other people on the app
it might help?
might not too
really depends

yeah ill keep it in mind
none of us are perfect so i guess like
ill do my best?
sounds cheap but honestly thats all i can do

I know you do. It is why I said it.

[ ...but. Give him a moment now. He's reading the next message Nero sent. And sitting up from where he's currently crouched over a table in one of his storage rooms, and he ... blinks, once. Twice?
As he tries to actually consider.

....Nero just complimented him.
Not a back-handed comment, not a sentence that can be re-cobbled together into a sort of positive statement--a bare-faced compliment.

He realises he's taken at least five minutes to respond. ]

Thank you.
That is not what I expected you to think.

[ THAT'S IT
THATS ALL THAT COMES TO MIND TO SAY
BECAUSE HE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO... PROCESS THE COMPLIMENT. He's just... thank you
nero???? ]

I dislike 'getting to know people'. I am markedly bad at it.
I speak my mind before I think it might not be taken properly.
I do not have much of a tone in English due to the fact that it is learned and this is the most I have used it since learning it.

It is not cheap, by the way.
That is pretty much the most one can ask for, or the most you should have to do.

ok fair

[This is a major difference between Nox and Nero. Nox will compliment people if he thinks they deserve it.

Enjoy dying, this is gonna happen a lot more.]

wait wait wait
ok like
vergil
uh
fuck
um

[This is suddenly awkward for what he wants to offer, because this is his dad but also not his dad. Fuck his feelings it's COMPLICATED.]

look if you need help learning tone and stuff
i dont mind helping
if you want it that is

...yeah
ill try to remember that

[ enjoy another really long, muted pause before answering because not only did you catch the man off guard with your weirdly timed compliments and genuine comments on top of apologising to him but now he's offering that... ]

...

I will make you a deal.
I will allow you to aid me with my tone and speaking with others.

And in return, I will ... teach you how to speak Italian.

wait seriously?
uh
im

[Now it's Nox's turn to go quiet for a long minute or three. Honestly, he was just offering because he wanted to help, he wasn't expecting Vergil to offer a trade in return.]

yeah
thats your native language right?
id like that tbh
a lot actually
youve got yourself a deal

I would not offer such a thing unless I was serious, Nero.

And yes. It is my native tongue. I am far less ... stiff when speaking Italian, as it is what I grew up with, and I do not have to think about my sentences before writing them out.

A deal is set, then.

yeah i get it

i mean
i cant promise to pick it up amazingly?
this shit isnt easy the older you get yknow?
but gdit im gonna fucking try

A little is better than none. Learning at an older age always proves more difficult, but anything can be achieved with enough hard work.

I have faith you will at least hold down 'conversational'.

yeah
tbh i dont think i remember even what i took in high school
i think it was spanish?
been so long ive forgotten the basics
conversational huh
well see
hoping ill do better then just conversations tbh

Come to the Auguries whenever you are free, next.
I do have a number of books that are good for basic learning of Italian, if you wish to borrow them.
Relics of my short time spent as a teacher.

[ very, very short. ]

Language is a 'use it or use it' skill.
So long as you practice, you will not forget.

I will make you practice.

ok noted
luckily im not too busy rn
im gonna be asking so many gd questions just warning you

yeah its like any kind of sport
you dont keep in shape and practice youll get rusty

that a promise or a threat?

I do not mind questions. I will field as many as you have to send to me.

And it is most certainly a threat.

sounds good to me
👉😎👉

[Vergil no you have just opened the floodgates for trolling.]

oh shit ok then
gonna do my best to impress tbh

IC INBOX - kaisou

un: noxxed; 2-3 days after red queen and all that HI I LIVE IN YOUR INBOX NOW

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject