kowase | IC INBOX

[ but what if he doesn't want to live with it, what if he LIKES being a fussy human pretzel. who complains about dumb things. ]

...Uncomfortably aware of that fact. I know you are no choir to preach to, given your own leg situation, but the number of times I need to have my clothing tailored due to how annoyingly short or long slacks are when I purchase them...

[ people dont MAKE shit for people who are six foot three, man. ]

And yes. That is, unfortunately, what I am telling you. I quickly slip back into what is most comfortable to me, whether those around me can understand me or not.

[ he pauses. ]

I can be pretty mean in my own language. I do not enjoy cursing in English. It sounds crass.

[He doesn't get a say in it. Sucks to be him. He can be a fussy human pretzel that this particular 'taur will keep calling by an obnoxious nickname forever. ]

Fttt, yeah my legs are tragically a lost tailoring cause at this point. [He lets out a dramatic little sigh.] I've come to terms with it. [Largely because...he hasn't got a goddamn choice in the matter. ] Well~ That explains why you're always so well-turned out! Always getting tailored clothes! That wasn't a big deal for me as a human, the being too tall thing.

[He was kinda short even before all the centaur stuff came in.]

See, now you're just making me wanna see you good and drunk just so I can watch you do that. It'd be fun.

[For him. He takes a sip of his drink.]

You can't say that and not teach me at least one Italian swear now. You just can't.

At the very least, you should only have to worry about dressing the upper half, yes?

[ he gives zulius a look that's almost like. hoping. that zulius doesn't try to put pants on. putting pants on horse body just. sounds like pure absolute suffering... ]

I do not make a particular habit of drinking myself stupid, so I do apologies that I may be a disappointment in that regard.

[ but now he's pausing. thinking. ]

...Well. One of my most common ones tend to be 'Che cazzo dici?'
It is, quite rudely, a way to ask someone if they know what they are saying.
Or to ask them to repeat themselves, because they are talking stupidly.

Edited 2023-07-05 00:43 (UTC)

True! And lucky for me, all my upper half stuff still fits me. I think I would have actually cried if I had to get rid of my entire wardrobe.

[Look. He tried it once and it did not work. Which legs would he even put into the pants? The front ones? The back ones? ALL FOUR??? Nope. There's no way to do it that doesn't look absolutely hideous and Zulius ain't about that. ]

Ahhhh well. I guess I can live with the crushing disappointment.

[So crushing, all the time. He hums in thought.]

Sooooo it's basically throwing shade. Love that. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna try it, but you can't look all pissy at me when I get it wrong, okay? I'm literally super new to this.

[It's time for another round of Will Zulius Bunter Butcher The Italian Tongue? He scrunches his face up, thinking that one out. ]

Che cazzo dici?

[...An attempt was made. ]

Have you ever thought about something along the lines of a drape? I imagine it would get quite cold in the winter...

[ don't mind him just imagining medieval horses who sometimes wore big drapes over their bodies in the wintertime to keep warm.

While he tries not to think about the fact that he may actually not be able to get drunk ever again because of his demon blood. He remembers waking up from his last hangover a few weeks back way too keenly.

And now he's listening to his new American friend try out a very italian sentence--but at least it's a short one with a very small amount of room to make mistakes.

Vergil almost looks pleased, if you can suggest such a thing, given he doesn't seem to know how to smile properly. ]

...Ah, that was not so terrible. My only real advice to the American tongue is that unlike the botched up mess of a language that English is, Italian words pronounce every letter, nearly verbatim. So you will get it.

The best way I can describe that sentence in English is... I suppose. "What the fuck are you talking about."

[ vergil said the f word. ]

[God, Zulius hadn't even thought about winter. He's a Californian and has never really made peace with the cold of the winter months outside of his home State. He's already spent two winters here and those were miserable. Now he has to navigate that without being able to cover up like 70% of his body mass. Yeeesh. ]

You know, a drape might just work. I'll take that over freezing to death. Maybe I can see what they've got going in the Undertown. Maybe I can get something there?

[They sell all sorts there, after all. It's a real tragedy he can't get hammered again. Unless, of course, they find demon-specific booze in Undertown? Stranger things have happened! But still, Zulius looks pretty damn pleased himself. Given the last time he tried Italian, Vergil looked like he wanted to throw himself off a bridge, he'll consider this a marked improvement. ]

I will take a 'not so terrible' thanks! Maybe I'll get on Duolingo and get better at this. [Is that a promise or a threat? Hard to tell. HIs grin widens.] Love it, and now I know what fuck is so I can make a note of it next time you're muttering under your breath, you secret pottymouth.

[ look, he gets it. he's from milan, and it barely ever snows there--and when it does, it's a light dusting that never stays. he's not looking forward to a heavy snowfall, himself--which is exactly why he thought about zulius' clothing issue. ]

If nothing else, you could get in touch with August. ...He is my cousin's nephew, and I do believe he's a talented tailor. If nothing else, I believe he should be able to, ah, 'hook you up,' as Nero might put it.

[ ....god he hated using that word it feels bad in his mouthgegshjaskl;ksd ]

...anyway.
If you were to use that App to learn Italian, you may catch me off guard one day, who knows.
It'll take a while for you to pick out everything, so I am safe a while yet.

[They can both be miserable about the snow together. Zulius is pretty damn certain they'll be magical bullshit attached to it. Living snowmen. Something like that. ]

Oh hey, I know August! He's one of the folks who run the school I fund. I didn't know he was related! [Exciting new information!!!] But yeah, that's not a bad idea. I can do a little sewing, comes with the territory [the drag queen territory] but thaaaaat's a new one even for me.

[He grins wider, leaning in to nudge Vergil gently with his elbow. ]

Look at you, using the kid's vernacular. So hip. [And honestly, that sounds like permission for him to just DO THAT, so he's gonna.] I'll drop it on you before you know what's coming. Like a ninja. It'll be fun. Mostly for me.

...You fund it? That is not something I was aware of. [ and that is, in fact, a rather impressed look on his face. Look at that. ] Our relation is not terribly close, but it is close enough, I suppose. His aunt was my only friend growing up, and August is a --

[ he pauses. you can see the full stop, and he mutters something sounding like piccola merda under his breath. ]

Let us just say he takes after my 'kid' a lot more than he takes after anyone else in my family. [ good god don't call him hip, if his hair wasn't already fully silver, he would have gotten a grey hair, there. ]

I do not think you have the subtlety to be a ninja, but go ahead.
Surprise me.

Sure do! They said they needed help getting it off the ground and I figured helping out a school seemed like a valuable use of my money.

[Plus it would piss his parents off. That always helps! His ears perk up at the Italian.]

Ohhhhhhh I see! So he's a lot louder and full of himself than you like. But, hey, that's still something right! Pretty sure having family who actually cares about your wellbeing has to be a bonus.

[He doesn't know what that's like but he's seen movies so he's pretty sure that's how it's supposed to go!!]

I can TOTES have ninja subtlety!! [Most people wouldn't say that so loud, Zulius, it defeats the object.] And I so am. I'm gonna surprise the whole holy hackers out of you.

If you are going to give to a charity, I believe, fully, that giving to a school is one of the best ideas that you can have.

[ even if he quit being a teacher, he had a lot of appreciation for places of learning, all the same. ]

And correct. He is very full of himself, and all he does is send me... [ he takes a low breath. ] Memes over the phone instead of greeting me like a normal person.

[ sigh ]

Usually, when you are trying to be sneaky, you do not announce how sneaky you are capable of being.

I mean, I've got plenty of charities I donate to- but totes! Gotta help meld young minds and...whatever.

[So eloquent! Learning was never exactly Zulius' strong point, but he does at least recognise the good the academy can do here!]

Sounds like a great guy to me.

[That's because he sounds a lot like Zulius. This is definitely something Zules would do. For funsies. He grins smugly- but hey at least the lights are going down for the final act of the show- Vergil may get some mercy yet.]

Maybe I'm just lulling you into a false sense of security. It might be all a smokescreen for when I'm super sneaky on you. When you least expect it.

[It probably won't be that. ]

IC INBOX - kaisou

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