kowase | IC INBOX

[ "one of tons of things." And yet, what are the odds that those who he meets with hair like his keep turning out to be demons, like he apparently is? ...was. He has no hint of demonic blood right now. even his odd, lizardlike eyes are something that's unique to him; caused by that book that had started him down this slope of supernatural happenstance nearly a year ago.

He's almost... annoyed that Nero doesn't respond to his request to follow up on the blade, his agreement to so blindly trust him to go to a safer location to show off the ability of the blade--instead, Nox Miller's voice goes

kind

concerned

it makes his brain feel fuzzy in a way he can't describe, an emotion that isn't strictly his, he realises. a want, a desire for something he's never had before. ,(he's had it before, he had good parents--strict, but loving. the love of his cousin, marianne, but
why does it feel like
those feelings are distant, like he craved them, like he's never had them in the first place

he was alone and there was noone
noone until there was Nero
Nero was the only one who ]

I don't enjoy them.

[ he speaks quickly, his fingers gripping the table so tightly, his knuckles have gone white. ]

I have always.
Always been a man who prides himself on managing to keep a sense of calm and cordiality towards strangers, thanks to my business sense.

These memories always...
Break.
That resolve and I am ....

[ he's trying to wriggle out of the odd feeling, to use cold logic to explain it away, but the more Nero looks at him with those eyes that should hate him for who he is, what he is
why do they look so ...

anxious
hes just a stranger

hes just ]

It's nothing to concern yourself with, Nero.
Where is this location you speak of.

[Life as a human is different compared to life as a part demon, or even half one. Nox knows both experiences- from his time as Nero, and having to live with that dark part of himself without knowing what it was for most of his life, and now as Nox, to suddenly have another part of you become so fucking visceral it threatens to shred your psyche into tatters if you try to even deny it. There is a dark and buried but always primal instinct of something seeing just what you are, notices what you notice, speaks in your head in ways you never would think yourself.

(He can feel his demon scramble up the walls inside, claws digging into his mind like a rabid animal in a cage. WHERE IS HE. Nox doesn't have an answer. WHERE. IS. HE. There is no sense of Vergil's demon, not even a hint of it, and the absence of something Nero's demon fought with over the years that was his past life nearly causes it to go feral. WAKE HIM UP. No. WE KNOW HE'S IN THERE, WAKE HIM UP. Shut. The fuck. UP.)

His eyes look to Vergil, to Red Queen, to how the other lets the silence sit at length while the question remains unanswered. There's patience here, Nox familiar with memories coming back and how they left him without words and swimming in so many emotions he didn't always understand. It was conflicting, confusing, terrifying all at once.

Finally, he hears him speak. I don't enjoy them, he says, and Nox almost starts back with a quip of his own. "Yeah pal, welcome to the club, population all of fucking Kaisou-" but the words die in his mouth as Vergil continues, the boy noticing how his father's grip is so tight it betrays his composure. The concerned look Nox wears on his face stays there, but as tempted as he is to reach for his father... he can't. He can't. Vergil looks so torn in his recollections that Nox worries any sort of openness like that will cause it to get worse or for him to shut down.

(It kills him. It kills him in a way that leaves his heart with an open wound that he knows will fester until a later time, where he doesn't feel nervous or lost in how to be someone's son. When he's sure he won't cause a bad reaction if he tries to touch any of his family in a friendly or caring way.)

He listens, noting how Vergil internally struggles with it, how it differs so much from what his father grew up with in this life. Knows that everything from here is just going to get more difficult.

("Love and protection don't have to wait. You can take it one step at a time and still give them those.")

Nox goes to speak, to try and find a way to ease Vergil back into the present, or at least get his mind off it. Even just a normal topic to try and bring back some sense of normalcy in all this.

And then he hears his name. His old name. Nero.

A thousand emotions flit across Nox's face, eyes widening for just a split second, memories and a swathing desire to know the man he's only ever wanted to know back then, and even now. Fuck. Fuck.

(When he was three, he went to bed without supper for hitting someone who took his toy, hoping and praying and begging for his mother and father to come find him, save him so he wasn't alone. He was five when he watched another orphan be adopted by loving parents, her walking with them down the road to a happy forever home, and he stayed here, being bullied about being an outcast. Six, and he was adopted into a family, but the namecalling and jeering didn't stop, he was still the black sheep. Eight, and he threw punches at a group of teens who insulted his parents, saying he wasn't ever wanted by anyone. Nine, and he gave up ever trying to be accepted by those in Fortuna, because it wasn't worth it. Fourteen, and his entrance into the Order of the Sword brought about respect, but also even more ridicule. Nineteen, and his whole world is shattered as a man in a red coat reveals the truth of his home and the organization he works for. Twenty-two, and he opens an orphanage with Kyrie to give orphans a better life than he had as a child. Twenty-four, and his world shatters again as he almost loses the two members of his family, his real family, in one go.)]

It's a bit out of the way, but– [Nox's voice struggles to sound calm, sound normal, and a hand quietly reaches for Red Queen's handle to take her with him.] It's pretty much got everything I need to show you how she works.

[Breathe in (try not to lose it), breathe out (it's just your name, for now). Breathe in (you agreed with Dante on this), breathe out (if he asks, you tell him the truth).]

[ there was nothing to wake up. nothing that vergil was aware of, anyway--his own powers were those that he'd gotten from an old book that had cursed with silver eyes, the lizard-like eyes--and a very stupid ability where raising his voice is dangerous, to others. while he isn't privy to the knowledge that he certainly has the regenerative side of a demon currently settled into his skin and bones--the demon itself is absent. silent. there's nothing to call out, nothing to play with but a very stressed out man nearing his 40's who feels like he's going through a second puberty. a mid-life crisis. both, at the same time.

He loosens his grip on the table, after realising he's been making his hands ache with how hard he was gripping it. perhaps luck that he hasn't regained the demon's strength he normally has, either--as he'd have the edges of that steel examining table crumpled up awkwardly in two places. He's going to move across the room, with a need to breathe, himself. Having not realised he'd called Nox by a completely different name--it'd slid off his tongue so naturally without thinking about it, and Nox didn't point it out.

So now he's just going to get his jacket on. ...A long, blue thing with long coattails and a dragonlike design going down the back and arms of it. perhaps not the coat he remembers vergil wearing, but...

... he remembers august's words clearly. nox miller is related to him in some way, and august demanded vergil ask the boy himself; instead of interrogating him. respect made him agree to it, but even still...
was nox like dante? did he know he was related to vergil? or was nox like him. someone born of this world, struggling to remember? perhaps that's why august asked to respect his privacy-- ]

I do not mind out of the way. We can walk there, as I have no yet had the time to settle in and purchase myself a car, or we can go by cab. I figure you flew here, as you did mention to me before that you had wings.

[ mind like a steel trap, this one. ] I'm afraid my own powers are a little pathetic in comparison to such an ability, so you will have to find it in yourself to overlook that.

[ he's turning back again. fixing nero with a slitted, lizardlike stare. ]

Perhaps.

On the way.

...We can talk about how it is that I recognise your voice. And I do not mean just by way of hearing it in passing.

...

I asked you to take care of something for me.
I can't remember what it was. [ was it... an item, or some sort of favor. ]

[The fact that there isn't something to wake up is what sits so wrong with his demon that it acts like it does. When kin recognizes kin, it's hard to let go of the desire to meet them again in a new life. For now, Nox ignores his demon and tries to shove it out of his mind.

Vergil's walk to get his coat, at least, is a welcome distraction. Even the patterning on the jacket, although different from his thorn leitmotif Nox remembers, is still very... him. Despite it being in his memories, he can't help the feeling of fondness that shows in his smile, brief as it is. He grabs Red Queen and settles her on his back again, crossing his arms as he waits.

Still, there's a brow raise as Vergil speaks about Nox flying here, and suddenly, an idea springs into his head.]

You know, any other time I would, but– there might be something I can do to fix that.

[Before he just swoops in, scooping Vergil right up via a princess carry, and moves out the door. Less than a few seconds later, out come the blue ephemeral wings, and up they go, flying into the sky.

Vergil did say he'd wanted to fly if he could, so. Nox gives him a bit of a grin before he speaks.]

Hold onto that second part for me for a bit, yeah? You'll get an answer soon.

[ he's going to take a moment to lock up the shop before stepping away from the door. Making sure that the lights are off, that the latch is solid, that's when he'll walk out onto the sidewalk.

He turns his head probably, just in time to see the idea come into nox's brain.

Did nox want a quick and easy way to make Vergil forget what he was talking about? Because in an instant, he's going to forget. because all the thoughts he had about the questions in his head are snatched out of his brain in trade for suddenly being snatched up as if he weighed nothing.

While Vergil is still a very tall man and while he's mostly in shape due to merely living a healthy life--he's not exactly as heavy as Dante might be, what with that man's years of built muscle. But still, he shouldn't be so easy to snatch up by this man, right??

And yet, when his mouth opens up to make a complaint about being suddenly grabbed, they're

in

the air

Vergil feels the air leave his lungs as those blue wings fold up and out of the man's back, giving a hard flap as they do exactly what Vergil is now regretting saying he wanted: push up into the sky, to fly through it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Vergil has no idea what to do with his hands.
He's sort of rigid, his arms caught up in a position like a cat who's beens scooped up and then scruffed--he doesn't know where to put them. he's just going to look up at nox with a startled--insulted look as he says the only thing that comes to mind. ]

--A little warning next time might be warranted?! Are you a madman??

[ oh god he just looked down. they really are just up in the air aren't they oh ]

Relax, princess. I'm not gonna drop you anytime soon. Besides, you're the one who said he'd wanted to try and fly if he could, right? Where's your sense of fun?

Seriously, though? Hands around the neck if you need something to hold onto.

[Vergil's entire insulted look is completely ignored, Nox just grinning widely as they continue over the city. It's quiet, lights bright and blinking in and out as they head further towards the outskirts of town. The sounds float in and out, soft and faint, and they give Nox a sense of nostalgia of when he first managed to fly on his own, back down from the qliphoth. It was a bittersweet experience, after having lost the family he so desperately wanted.]

The warehouse isn't too far from here, so it won't take long.

[ he cant argue with that. those were words that he said. with his own mouth. he did want to fly, and now here he is. flying over the goddamn city like it's just as easy as a stroll down the street. Nero's wings flapping every now and again to keep aloft.

His eyes trace down, to watch the scenery as it flies by and bit by bit, he maybe. Starts to relax.
Definitely not shifting his arms to settle them around Nox's neck in the world's most awkward half-hug he can manage or anything. It's something.

...There's something nostalgic about flying, he would agree with that point. But after a few moments, he's gone from rigid and halfway panicking to somewhat quiet. His eyes actually staying open as he can watch it all fly by.

He wasn't wrong.
This sort of power was amazing. ...he wanted it. ]

Warehouse.
That's where you're bringing me?

Yeah. Found it on the outskirts a while ago and fixed it up with someone else- it's where we hold fight club each month.

[Technically he shouldn't be saying this in person but, eh. Vergil is going to learn about it anyway, so long as he keeps his mouth shut outside the Libra app.

Arriving there doesn't take long, at least, and Nox is sure to basically drop down enough where he can easily land and assist Vergil right out of his carry. Somewhat. Sorry about your dignity, Vergil.]

So, yeah, welcome, I guess? Since we're just checking out how Red Queen works, we'll go inside to one of the dummies. You'll get to see how she works for yourself.

[ fight club. he holds a fight club each month. good god should he ask questions--no he's not going to ask questions. many of his own regained memories always had flickers of fighting in them, swordplay--even instances where he was swinging his fists and legs in some ... impossibly quick motions he's sure he isn't currently capable of.

so perhaps fighting merely runs in the family. between dante and... nox, whoever he is. he's still working on that. the flight is distracting him from the current bubble of questions though, lucky for nox.

Once he's let down out of the man's arms, he's going to take a second to re-adjust his coat and hair, awkwardly--as if the whole ordeal had been embarrassing.
...no, it was embarrassing. ]

...Thank you. [ he does. actually, offer a word of thanks after being let down--nox did not have to go through the effort to fly them here, and yet... ]

I would also hope you were using a dummy. If you turned that thing on me I would be rather cross at you.
I do not have the sort of healing that Dante does. [ he actually does, but. he doesn't realise it. ]

[He holds it not once a month, but twice. Not that this is information Vergil needs to know right now. Fighting is in their blood, thrums under the surface, is always a way to speak without words.

That flick of the hair back is another nostalgic moment, but Nox simply smiles at the thanks.]

No problem.

[Though that next statement? Has Nox snickering if only in sheer amusement.]

Not with that attitude, you don't. [He's kidding, but honestly, he vividly remembers Vergil taking Red Queen to the face several times.] C'mon, the section for this sorta deal's further in.

[Walking into the warehouse shows that it's a place that's been thoroughly taken care of in terms of reinforcement, windows covered and walls layered in protective equipment. Nox travels horizontally to one corner of the place, the dummies visible to give people a chance to try out new things, or even just practice.]

Right, so. [Out comes Red Queen again, and he revs her engine, the entire blade glowing orange-red as it stores fire in the exhaust. Nox raises a brow at that to Vergil, a look that asks if he's ready to see how fucking stupid this gets.]

[ he can learn later. for now he's here to learn about Nero--Nox's durandal. that was first and foremost, and eventually he'll remember the questions he'd asked nox before the man had GRABBED him and jumped into the air with him like a wild creature.

feral child. ]

It has nothing to do with attitude. [ he's quick to remind nero, he doesn't have !!! special powers!!! like you demons!!! he shouts and peoples' eyes and ears bleed a little, that's the extent of his powers!!!

not that he'll freely boast that, it's a power he actively dislikes, anywow. he's gonna follow the man back to where the dummies are, arms folded behind his back as he takes a relaxed pose to watch the man.

...he should have brought a notebook with him, but his memory is good enough he can sketch things out later, he supposes. He watches as the man brings the blade out, and there it goes--revving in an unnatural way that a sword SHOULD NOT. It's... weird. It's so weird. ]

I am watching. [ he doesnt understand how that red glow doesn't damage or warp the metal. it's fascinating. ]

[He may be feral, but he's your feral child, Vergil. You'll thank him later, he's sure of it.

For the protesting, all Nox does is give Vergil a set of fingerguns. Sure sure, bud. Whatever you say.

But, well. Here they are, Vergil intently watching as Nox just grins wider, then steps one foot forward, bringing back Red Queen in the process. Then he does the most inane things in successive order: he crouches, brings the sword close to his body, and spins like a top against the dummy, fire coming alive on the edge of the blade and sending the thing flying against the wall. Even more interesting is how Nox moves forward in that momentum and doesn't seem to let the weight of Red Queen ever seem to throw his balance.]

That's usually what she does- things like that.

[ He watches, his hands still clasped behind his back as nox gives him a cheeky double-pistols gesture, and then he gets to work. streaking across that abandoned warehouse to attack one of the test dummies. The glow of the durandal lighting up the low-lit room as it revvs to life.

He's watching, he knows he's watching, but the whole scene before him seems to slow down in front of his eyes. At least it feels that way as he tries to follow each motion, each swing of his sword.

The floor under their feet is waxy, veined in a odd star pattern as they stand across from one another. The sky is a perfect, unmarred blue, above--save for the twisted, spined roots of the Qliphoth tree that branch out almost like a bowl-shape for the arena he--Vergil--had chosen for a final fight with Nero. With Dante.

Dante's there, lying down, off to the side. His focus isn't on him, though, so he can't quite see what the man is doing--not when the most important thing to be looking at right now is Nero. (Nero?) The man has an arm that isn't quite ... right, and as the man dashes forward with that sword-- THAT sword --the red queen, the revv of its engine is in his ears. His own blade coming up to glance the blow off the white-sheathed katana's blade, just in time for him to catch a nasty, glacing blow with a grip that is electric to his side.

It buzzes up his spine and he can feel the electricity burning behind his eyes--causing vittore, in the moment, to lift his head up, and shake it, as if he'd been feeling that electricity hit him in this exact moment. There's a warping sound as his hands expertly grip his own blade, sending off a wave of energy towards the man--one that explodes in a clash of bladestrikes that was too impossible to track, too fast to have been done with just a flick of his wrist.

Fuckin' asshole! Nero's voice rakes into his ears as he dashes away from the hit, only to dash in again. Vergil's hand coming up, as if to keep Nox in place.

His eyes wide as he breaks free of the memory. ]

[That– Nox is halfway through his sentence when he sees Vergil raise his head, eyes far off, and he suddenly stops everything he's doing. Shit, shit– that's a memory, and Nox doesn't know which one.]

Hey. [He's walking towards the other at that, Red Queen against the wall, one arm out to try and bring his father back into reality.] Shit, you all right?

[There's no telling what he's remembered. There are so many instances Nox knows he can't even fathom which one would come from this. All he can do is be here, and it kills him, because it never feels like it's enough.]

[ theres a clarity in his eyes, at least. looking at nox with those slitted, catlike eyes with some small measure of... understanding. like he had just come to terms with something; and that something was simple: August was right. Just like Dante, he was familiar with this man. He had memories of fighting him in place that felt alien, but familiar.

Red Queen wasn't a weapon he's seeing for the first time. Rather, he's had that weapon turned on him before. He knew what it felt like to be block it with a blade of his own.

He knew what it felt like to be hit by it. ]

--I am fine. [ he quickly seems to recover, but. he's always been good at controlling his emotions. on the surface he was calm, but inside he's definitely having some sort of emotion he can't name. fascination was definitely mixed in there, confusion and a pang of guilt--something of the sort.

The hand he has outstretched curls a little, fingernails digging into his palm, a bit. ]

I am alright. [ the simplest answer. ] I am... starting to get used to that happening. Even if the "coming back to reality" part is the most jarring.

...

I have seen this blade before.

Rather.

I have fought you, before. You used this very blade against me. We were... fighting on some odd platform, high in the sky.

.........

You called me quite a few names.

[Nox listens, even if he’s partially still worried about what Vergil’s seen. He gets his answer shortly after, Nox blinking in surprise before letting out a shaky laugh.]

Yeah. [He’s said he won’t lie, and he won’t.] Yeah, we did. Fight each other, I mean.

[Nox traces his gaze back to Red Queen, mouth going into a thin line.] I’ve always fought with her- even back then, in my past life. [He looks back at Vergil, and then shrugs.] And considering you and Dante were gonna do something fucking stupid? Kinda deserved it, I’m just saying.

[He knows this is raising more questions then answers, but there’s no point in not telling him the truth. Nox exhales, arms crossed, unsure of how to continue other than wait to see if anything else happens.

Now the hardest part is waiting.]

[ nox is absolutely raising far more questions than he is giving answers. clearly the attempt to sew together all the statements alongside his scattered past life's memories shows on his brow, and he slowly moves to cross his arms.
tipping his head up to focus that slitted, catlike gaze onto the man. ]

Past life. [ he repeats that, first. ] So, you are someone who, like myself. Has walked a life based in this world, only to remember a different self later. Much like myself.

...
No, identical to myself.
You mentioned Dante, to boot.

[ his teeth worry a bit at the inside of his cheek. ] August also let it slip that you are somehow related to my past life as well. He quickly appealed to have me not interrogate him as it was your business, however...

...

Silver hair. Blue eyes.
Memories of yourself between Dante of myself.
Always... always fighting. A conflict of interests. You were so angry with me and yet, I held no contemt for it. For you.

[ why are they always at such odds. ]

Who are you, Nox Miller.

...Nero, was your name, rather.
But who is Nero.

[Nox listens and watches as Vergil tries to make the connection with this new information, and he can understand how it's confusing to try and get things to click together.]

Yeah. Grew up in Kaisou my whole life, went off to college in NYC, came back here and took a job as the high school gym teacher. Until last year, that's how my life had always been.

[The mentioning of August, however, gets Nox to tilt his head in curiosity, tongue clicking in a bit of surprised irritation.] Did he? First I've heard about it.

[Always fighting. It's true– it was how they were, back then. Dante and Vergil needing to settle their differences in their sibling rivalry, Nero realizing there was another way, fighting fang and claw and with heart and soul to try and save them all. He loved them so much back then, and he still does even now. It lives in his heart, even if this life had nothing of the sort that his past life had.

Who are you, Nox Miller?

As much as he's been dreading answering this question, there's a large part of him that is still trying, desperately, to reach for his father. To have a connection. To be his son, even if they're not even the same people in this life.

So Nox crosses his arms, forces himself to breathe even as his brow furrows in thought as he tries to reply.]

Who am I? I mean, as Nox? I'm pretty much another guy on the app, just like you.

[His mouth goes into a firm line at this, and it's easy to see that he struggles with how to word himself here.]

But as Nero– [He bites his lip, opens his mouth to say something, closes it again almost immediately. Nox turns his head, looking away from Vergil if only for a second so he can steel himself in what he has to do.

Be honest with him.

He exhales, sucks air through his teeth and then back out again, ignores the incredibly apparent agitation and nervousness his demon has in how it paces back and forth in the back of his mind.]

As Nero, [Say it.] I was your son.

It would be the first you heard about it, yes. As I said, I respected his wishes against speaking the slip he accidentally let pass his lips. He did not say much, if it is of any consolation. He merely asked if I had spoken to you and Dante. Which gave me no context, but a clue that you are somehow aware of my previous life.

[ he will go quiet, though, once nox mentions he's just 'another guy' on the app. 'like him.' that's a loaded statement. one that gives him easy context: past lives. nero wasn't like dante, he wasn't someone who came from a different world, though some slip in time, through some portaled dimension that brushed up against the heavy leyline in the sky over kaisou.

he was Nox Miller. But he was also 'Nero'.

A past life.
A past life who was, in some way, related to Vergil and Dante.
His mind was racing, trying to place him. A brother, a cousin.

His breath catches in his throat as Nero says it. The pause before it was ... tense, the silence almost like a ringing in his ears. ]

[ I was your son. ]

[ he's... going to openly stare at Nero. His eyes widening as if -- for the first time -- he's seeing the man. As if until a moment ago, the man was just someone in his sideview, an aquaintence, a mystery--some demon who was a little too friendly but definitely someone he KNEW.

i was your son.

the words ring in his ears, and
vittore moves
...his eyes lifting up
looking away from the boy as he starts to pace
back and fourth
a hand on the back of his head as he turns on his heel, then back again. turns to face him, looking at him
his chest feels like it's on fire due to how hard his heart is beating.

son

not a brother, not a cousin
he

he had a son.
and he has no reason to misbelieve the boy, not after what's happened with dante.
not after all the memories he'd had of the man, after slowly coming to terms with the fact that it was real
vergil had a son
and he was right here
in front of him.

he doesn't know what to do with this information. ]

Nero. Is my son.

[ he speaks the words out, as if that would make them real--and somehow, the sentence felt... familiar. like he'd said it before.
the same confusion, that he, of all people in the world could create another being.

as he slowly starts to grab at the broken pieces of the puzzle... ]

Why didn't you tell me earlier.
Lo sciocco.

[It's hard, in some ways, to see Vergil like this. More than anything else, Nox feels Vergil's pacing echoed right back by his own demon, the growl of annoyance in his head growing as the seconds pass. He wishes there was an simpler way to talk about this information without it seeming like a fucking nuke, but sometimes things just aren't meant to be easy to give at all.

The statement that comes is one that causes him to swallow, nerves trying their damndest to get the best of him.]

Yeah. He is. I am.

[When I'm through with you, I'll make you submit, father.

Nox struggles not to turn tail and run, his inner child wanting to hide, thinking he's in trouble. Even after this admittance, he's uncomfortable in how he's upended Vergil's world just like Dante had. He shouldn't be, but his own heart wears on his sleeve as bright as day, tells so much just in his face alone.

But Vergil's question gets Nox to balk briefly, shaking his head even as he clasps his arms in an effort to not do some stupid gesture instead.]

Are you crazy? You were already facing a lot with learning that Dante was your twin. I didn't want to add to that and just make it worse.

[Truthfully, it had taken a lot of courage to even come to him today, mostly because he was afraid of how this would go. Now, standing here, this isn't as bad as he'd imagined it to be. No accusations of lying, no outburst of pure rage or anything harsh– it's definitely much better than it could have gone.]

Last thing I'd want is for you to feel like you were suffocating.

[ it was absolutely just like the dante situation all over again. where his world was being compounded into something much bigger than he ever expected to experience--becoming someone who he never in his life thought he would ever become.

he came to kaisou for more power--magic fascinated him, but this past life thing.
He was a father. He had a son.
And the worst part was, there was that dreading, gnawing feeling that, due to the memories he's had so far?
He wasn't even a good father. ]

I believe I am starting to feel crazy with all the things I am learning about myself as of late. [ he'll admit that so, so freely. just for you free of charge. ] But If I can be honest with you for a moment, knowing Dante is someone from my past is not... suffocating.

[ on the contrary. ]

August informed me that regardless of what it is I do, I cannot stop remembering who I am. Who I was. Whichever... language you want to use here. This is all still very strange to me.

... But knowing Dante is related to me has helped anchor me, when I have memories of that person. [ which, is unsaid here: knowing you could help him, as well. ]

[To hear the admittance is already a shock in and of itself- Vergil does not strike him as the type to be open about this, much less to someone he's only truly understanding their relationship now. Nox blinks at the words, and then stares back at his father.

Knowing Dante... is not suffocating.

...knowing Dante is related to me has helped anchor me, when I have memories of that person.

They hit him like a truck, like Nox played a game of chicken in a crowded street and lost, and it sets him in the mindset he knows he can follow and say, in this life.]

Look.

[Nox moves. It takes less than five seconds to get to his father. To grab onto a lapel and twist his fingers in it, staring at Vergil dead in the eye, and say what he says.]

If you want this, if it’s not overwhelming for you, then I don’t want to be anywhere else but by your side, helping you through it.

[How many times can he tell his family, his old family, "I missed you?" How many ways does he need to prove that he needs them, that after a year of being the only one from his old home to wake up, that he's been lonely this entire time?

I wasn't alone in this, so I'm not leaving you alone in this.

His family here is around, as are his friends. Without them, he'd be far worse off than where he stands today, and Nox is forever grateful people pulled him by his ear and dragged him into the truth kicking and screaming. And if that's what Vergil needs him to do, he'll do it. But Nox isn't going to let him suffer whatever problems may come, whatever nightmares he may get, on his own.

They're family. Regardless of where they came from, regardless of their past lives or their present ones. They. Are. Family. And Nox refuses now to lose of either of them- come hell or highwater, he'll fight and give everything it takes to keep them protected, and safe. Because they deserve it.]

Edited 2023-05-19 22:18 (UTC)

[ maybe, if he were another man, from another time--still twisted in his thoughts about everything he's done, everything he's experienced; he would be far less open about all of this. it's likely he'd still have a large amount of difficulty believing he's ANYTHING but alone. struggling to let dante back into his life, to admit that all he'd ever wanted was for someone to care about him.

but he was a man named Vittore, someone who had a somewhat emotionally distant, but present family. he'd grown up a little more normal, a little less terrified. he's remembering things he experienced as another person, and they're slowly intertwining into the person he currently was and it's thanks to the adjustment of Vittore that Vergil can hold his head up and look Nox--Nero in the eye and accept this.

Instead of throwing a book at him and running away to a place his son can't follow.

He takes a slow, quiet breath in as Nox asks him, quite plainly; if he wanted this. Just like how when Dante threw himself at him, arms around him in a hug that was more full of love than any other hug he'd ever gotten even in this life. ]

It is the memories that are overwhelming. I still do not fully know who I was in this life before the one I am living, but If there is anything I do understand; it's that that person--that I was alone.

[ he felt it, pitted in his guts every time he remembers something in that man's head. the fact that no matter what was happening, there was noone standing behind him, or in front of him. ]

I do not know how good a father Vergil was to Nero.

...Hell, my own father, in my current life is a pain in my neck and not someone I would enjoy modelling myself after in this life.
But if that's what you want to do.
Then I will not refuse you.

...

Even if you are un piccolo cazzo, I suppose.

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